Your childhood is over and in most cases (especially if you are on my list) it has been so for many decades. So why is the little girl still in charge?
Let me explain why I am being provocative. For many of us, the little girl inside us is still in charge. The one that was wounded, injured, maybe bullied, taken for granted or under appreciated, overlooked or ignored, years and sometimes decades ago. Whether she is the 8 year old or the teenager, she is the one that seems to define our lives regardless of the circumstances we are going through. She is the default switch that turns on if we haven’t dissolved the fears and hurts from our past.
The problem is that she may the one that wants something for nothing. She is the one that is looking for a pleasure without a pain. She is looking for everyone to support her values and give her everything she wants. She gets annoyed when she doesn’t get what she wants or the world is against her. She is the one that doesn’t understand the bigger picture. She is the one that doesn’t understand that in order to grow and be strong we need challenge. How’s life going with her in charge? Is it fair to say that it’s an emotional rollercoaster?
I want to challenge you to stop...Stop putting her in charge of all your momentum or showing up when the ‘wheels are falling off’. At those times you need the adult inside of you.
You need the REAL you - The one with the executive center of your brain fully functioning. You need all facets of you: the overseer, the manager, the innovator, the creator, the negotiator, the intuitive one. Activating your higher mental capacity, you have all of those qualities and so many more. It’s a choice to use them. And it’s yours to make.
You are not the same person you were when you were 8 or 10 or 12 or younger when you first felt rejected and hurt so defaulting to that mind set just isn’t relevant anymore. But it’s easy to go there because it’s a well worn path. It feels familiar for a while but tends to have us feeling like we have hit a wall without any protection. It leaves us feeling drained and exhausted.
When I work with my clients however, we see that sometimes perceptions that we created in those years are still sitting there as imbalanced wounds that are running our lives. It doesn’t take much to shift them. What we also find is versions of that same ‘wound’ keep showing up over and over again until we see the relevance for our lives, and it can dissolve. We gain and grow from the challenges instead of shrinking from opportunity and it does require a shift in perception.
Would you like to free yourself from those perceptions and really see what’s available from this beautiful abundant universe?
The Solution: If challenged - ask how can this benefits me. It’s a question you hear me ask many times and my clients already pre-empt it when we are speaking together. It happens to be one of those most important questions that you can ask yourself. It means that you are willing to be a bigger player in your life. (And actually live within the laws of universe.). Meaning…you will always have a positive accompany a negative and vice versa. It’s a law. Just like the law of gravity – you can try and argue with it, but you don’t normally win. So if that’s the case… my advice is to go looking for the answer. It’s the grown up thing to do. It works every time. It brings calmness and centeredness to the chaos. You will feel in charge. You will open up your perceptions and create a life you can get excited about, because you are seeing the potential and possibilities instead of the one sided pain and (sometimes) childlike view.
It’s time for a ‘conscious integration and then uncoupling’ of your previous go to mind set.